by Jake Ziesche
What do you call a pig in the middle of the street?
A road hog.
What did the bird say when it landed on another planet?
“Take me to your feeder.”
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Where do aliens go to buy curtains?
The Planet of the Drapes.
How do ferrets avoid doing work?
They weasel out of it.
What is the loudest sport?
Tennis- the players always make such a racket.