By: Maggie Jones
I have lived to see my life happy as it is. I didn't understand what death was until I was almost seventeen years old. I felt life was happy at one point, then it went downhill for me.
I was going to see my grandmother at the acute hospital, acute means there is a breathing tube that's in their throat to help them breathe. It was April 12, 2008. I went to see my grandmother but she wasn't that awake to see me or my mom .
I didn't know that this would be the last day I ever saw my grandma here on earth.
I sat across from my mother on the other side of my grandmother’s bed. The first thing and the only thing I remember asking was, “ Is she going to make it though ok? Is she going to pass?” Then my mom looked at me saying one word I dreaded hearing, ”No she may not , she might not make it overnight." I looked at my mom and she looked back at me with tears running down my face. My mom and I started to cry. As we left for the final time, I held grandma's hand while mom wasn't looking and I kissed her head and said: "I love you; god bless you for
being my grandma."
The next day was Sunday, April 13th, 2008. It was raining. At 11:45am in the morning
I got a call that changed my life forever. My dad said, "Well, Maggie grandma went to see Jesus”. I knew at that moment she was gone. I hung up the phone and cried like mad the whole morning and into the night.
I felt I have been alone most of my life. My dogs, Buddy, Mitci, and Brooke passed one year at a time (2015, 2016, and 2017). I really felt all alone when Miss Susie passed in March of 2021.
I miss all of them but would they really want me to cry or get upset a lot? No ,they would want me to do the next right thing; to keep trying even when it was hard too.
I see a psychologist and psychiatrist for help. I never not want help, because help IS out there for people suffering from depression, anxiety or any mental illness.
If you need help, call a good friend that you know you trust. If it gets worse, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room for help. Just knowing someone is there for you is important, very important. It is never ever too late to get help if you or a loved
one needs mental help. Don't ever let it get that bad to the point of harming yourself or something worse.
You matter too in this world. We all do.
Know that crying is letting it out and it's okay to let go in hard times, but always know, someone is there for you if you.
And you are not alone.
I have dealt with depression almost all my life. And so do a lot of people out there.
I cope in the following way: just stop, stay in the moment if you are thinking of the past, then drop whatever it was you were thinking of sad in the past. For you can't control what happened in the past or the future, so right thing is to stay in the present and focus on now.
I help myself get better at anything accepting that I am not perfect but trying my best...and that is something not nothing.
We all make mistakes, it's what we do with that mistake that matters.
Remember, let it go, stay in the moment, drop it. Don't give up, take good care of yourself and others in your family, and you will see the light out of the dark hole.
Hope is still there when you believe.
